When Losing Actually Equals Winning

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Inspiration, Motivation, Life, Inspirational, Outdoors

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Glass Half-Full or Glass Half-Empty?  Answer?  It's a Cup.

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We are all in for a happy time of confidence-building, because this week’s blog is all about losing, and being so incredibly losery.

Conversely, this week's blog could be all about winning.  Perspective, folks.  Frankly, that is really what life is all about, is it not?  We all see things differently.  For example, some people feel that mushrooms are a delicacy.  However, some cannibals feel that people are a delicacy.  I, however, feel that all mushrooms and all cannibals should be sealed in an airtight container and launched into space.

Or take perspectives on God for example.  In the end, some people see God as nonexistent.  But God may have plans to make them nonexistent in the end.  Perspective.

Grammar with Satan

Satan's perspective is to attack, confuse, and accuse.  This man's perspective?  To correct Satan's grammar.  I love it.

Thank you for attending our congregation!  There will be a potluck in the fellowship hall blessed by our dear organist, Miss Rosalind St. Claire, who turns 337 today, let's hear it for her!

Some people say black is the best color.  I say blue is.  And yet my wife might turn you black and blue if you do not say green is.  Do you see?  This world is populated by two kinds of people: those who are right, and those who are my wife.

It really is all about perspective.  Don't believe me?  Let's consider events.  Many years ago I took a class that taught me that events are inherently neutral.  T. Harv Eker mentions this when he says “When an incident occurs, we look at it with our filters, our conditioning, our views, and we turn it from neutral into whatever we think it is.”  Now, many would understandably agree with this.  I am no exception.  My dad dying would be entirely negative.  Banning my mother from showing anyone old pictures of me naked in the tub as an infant would be entirely positive.  Taco Bell being closed would be entirely negative.  Michael Bolton music being outlawed would be entirely positive.

Or take parenting.  Some see parenting as complete bliss.  Fellow voice actor Ally Murphy has chosen to sing about it:

See?  Parenting rocks.

For today's blog, we are talking about what we perceive as winning, and what we perceive as losing.  You see, "winning" is the feeling one experiences when one eats an entire box of Ho-ho's.  On the other hand, "losing" is the feeling one experiences when one eats an entire box of Ho-ho's.

They are a win, because they are delicious, and they are a loss, because of how we feel about ourselves after we have gorged on an entire box of delicious chocolatey gluttony.

I think you understand now.  It really truly is all about perspective.  Thank you, Hostess, for teaching us how to see things anew through flavorful snacks that make my pants button snap open on Easter Sunday in front of everyone.

 

Losing & Winning

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Let me share with you some instances where I lost, but the truth of the matter is that my perspective was off.  I actually won:

  • When I was a child, I lost my front teeth, only to gain better, stronger ones. I call that a win, because now I can gnaw Taco Bell burritos with ease.  My expanding waistline calls this ability a loss.  But I call my expanding waistline a win, because due to my girth my children now obey me or I sit on them.
  • I once dated a girl who only wanted to kiss and make out.  I dumped her because I am a stupid, stupid man.  I lost that relationship, but ultimately it was a win, because as every guy knows, no guy wants to just kiss and make out.  Not while the TV is just sitting there unused.
  • I recently lost my voice when it became very annoying and squeaky, similar to what you hear when you listen to Gilbert Gottfried, may he rest in annoying squeaky peace. You see, my 6 year old is very generous, and he was kind enough to share his cold with me.  Any voice actor can understand how distressing this is, and I agree: I have come to understand that it is quite difficult to use my voice, without my voice. However, during this period of vocal affliction I gained an incredibly low, growly, gravelly Sam Elliott voice. This was actually a win, because I was able to make women around me swoon and collapse from hormones.
  • Just this past week I lost a $1200 job through Voice123 because the client wouldn’t sign a contract protecting my usage. I call that a win, because now I have extra time to eat my Ho-ho's and sit on my disobedient children.
  • Two weeks ago I lost a $3000 job on Voices because the client didn’t have reasonable budgetary expectations. Their unreasonable expectation, if memory serves, was that I should not have to be paid for my services.  I call losing this job - and this client - a win.

And now, in all seriousness:

  • I recently lost a Facebook friend and colleague, because they did not understand reciprocation and helping out our group's purpose: they apparently had an overly strict policy for vetting anyone other than themselves. However, I call this a win, because where I come from, there has to be mutual back-scratching.
  • Some of you know that my wife and I have been cyberstalked. I lost peace of mind over a few years’ time when I decided to put my big boy pants on and challenge him – this helped to, along with other victims, expose his name to the proper authorities.  He is now under investigation.  I call that a win.
  • In 2010, I was preparing to host a major concert for a CD I had put together with my old band. I was tremendously on edge during this season, hoping that it would all be successful, and it was an all-consuming drive for a time.  A friend from church, Meredith, approached me.  She said, “Josh, I feel like The Lord is encouraging me to tell you ‘Relax: it will happen.  It just won’t happen in the way you expect it to.’ "  Well, we had the concert, but during pre-concert setup, I was given a bouquet of flowers by a woman who wanted to come support me, though she herself could not attend, as she would be out of town.  I remember being struck by this gracious gift, my eyes following her as she smiled, waved, and bounced out of the auditorium…and eventually into my life as my beautiful bride.  The concert did not happen as I expected, and it was not a commercial success.  But I got a wife out of it.  I call that a major win.
  • My wife and I struggled to conceive for nearly four years. I had some morphology and motility issues, and she had some trauma issues - relax; I sought the necessary clearance and filed the necessary paperwork with the WPD (Wife Permission Department) to include that part – and it just was not happening.  Fast-forward six years later, and we have two beautiful boys.  I call that a major win.

 

The Glass Is Always Half Full

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So, the next time you lose that job…

…remember that that probably isn’t the

type of client that you wanted.

I call that a win.

 

The next time you lose that long-running client…

…remember that this frees up your schedule to

focus on other clients and pursuits.

I call that a win.

 

The next time you lose your voice…

…remember that this opens up new opportunities

to experiment with a different delivery.

I call that a win.

 

The next time you are trapped in an elevator and can’t get to your car…

…remember that it could be because you were about to be

hit by a car crossing the street.

I call that a win.

 

The next time you lose that mortgage-paying directed session because you are out on vacation,

…remember that it is because you are out

spending time with the ones you love.

I call that a win.

 

The next time you lose someone dear to you through death or separation,

...remember that whatever does not kill you makes you stronger, and

this loss could potentially lead to strengthening, and further

depth of character, as well as new community.

I call that a win.

 

The next time you lose a friend over a petty disagreement,

…remember that that friendship was not strong enough to

begin with, and it serves as a reminder that you

deserve to surround yourself with strength.

  I call that a win.

 

The next time you are depressed and bored because work is not rolling in,

...remember to use that time to exercise.  To meditate.  To work on

your website.  Your business.  YOU.

This spare time is a GIFT.

I call that a win.

 

Trust me, you have more wins in your column than losses.  Its all about whether or not you want to see them as such.

The story is told of twin boys of five or six. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities – one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist – their parents took them to a psychiatrist.

First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. "What's the matter?" the psychiatrist asked, baffled. "Don't you want to play with any of the toys?" "Yes," the little boy bawled, "but if I did I'd only break them."

Next, the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. "What do you think you're doing?" the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist.

"With all this manure," the little boy replied, beaming, "there must be a pony in here somewhere!"

Now, git.  Go find your ponies.  And remember!  It truly is all about perspective.

That is one big pile of shit. | Reaction GIFs

In the comments below, let me know what ways you thought you lost where you actually won.

 

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24 thoughts on “When Losing Actually Equals Winning”

  1. This made my day thank you Joshua! There are things in my life I’ve long considered losses; this helps me to reframe them. i thank u!!

  2. Josh – I REALLY loved this post. Thank you for sharing such an inspirational and moving read. And that Hostess example cracked me up. I think were I to eat an entire box, I’d be greeted with a dreadful cold sweat accompanied by the shakes and an impending sense of doom. I will try to find the silver lining in that.

    One of my own personal favorite personal wins was when I kicked off my nursing career – I thought I landed the perfect gig, jumping straight into the emergency department. But it seems my life had other plans for me. What felt like a terrible loss after a LOT of hard work ended up becoming a very successful and unusual career with all kinds of crazy adventures and stories in places that I never anticipated going when I first envisioned things. Life has a funny way of happening, as I’m always saying.

    I wrote a bit about that in my blog entry “The Reason I Put a Slash Through My Zeroes” https://www.michaelapollolira.com/post/the-reason-i-put-a-slash-through-my-zeroes

    I hope it’s ok I link to it!

    Thanks for helping me kick my week off with the right mindset my friend 🙂

    1. You’re welcome, my friend! And yes, post away. This is Joshua Alexander, and I approve this Michael Apollo Lira link.

      Congrats on your major win, MAL! Thank you for your service!

  3. Remember, that when something doesn’t go exactly the way you plan it or want it to, most of the time, later down the line, you look back and realize that if that situation went the way you wanted, you would have never have had the opportunity to be where you are now, do the things that you have done, or experienced the things you have. Over the years I have come to realize this, and keeping this in mind now, I handle situations with a new outlook when it “Doesn’t go my way” at this moment.

    I call that a win.

  4. I don’t have a username and password for my WPD….I need to get that sorted.
    Great blog Josh and there are so many quotes that confirm what you are saying. My favorite is “expect nothing and accept everything”.
    And that CAPTCHA sum I had to do was soooooooo difficult!!!!

  5. Great blog Josh! Thank you for sharing so much of your personal journey with us – it reminds me that we’re more than just our work. It’s just nice to hear that you’re not alone sometimes and that someone in your same shoes stayed strong and had success.

    1. Thank you Robyn! MAN do I remember those days…yearning and yearning for a child. They were hard times: watching everyone close to us seemingly pop out babies like one of those log rides where they just keep shooting out of moms. Ugh. We were despondent. I remember collapsing on the stairs in tears one time because it just wasn’t working and I couldn’t give my wife what we both so desperately wanted. But in the end, it all worked out…and we had two little major wins. All things in due time. In fact, for personal reasons I can’t really disclose here, our first baby came at a time where we needed him most, and when it made perfect sense in our lives at that time. God knows what He’s doing, methinks. 🙂

  6. Hey! I love this. It’s so important to keep things in perspective. I got released from an on-hold this week,..but it’s still a win, because it was for an agent I’m on a trial with. So even though I didn’t book it, I proved to them I could. I try to write down at least one win every day so I remember I have so much to be grateful for.

    1. Writing down those wins is so vital, isn’t it? MAN I forget to do this far more often than I remember to. There’s something about documenting it and ensuring that it’s recorded, where we can look back on a legacy and see a trail of victories to remind us of what we’ve been given thus far. Thanks for sharing this, BJK!

  7. It’s all solved with a focus on gratitude for what we have. And for what we don’t have.

    I’m grateful for you, Josh. And I’m grateful I don’t have leprosy.

    1. Thank you Kathleen! And you’re welcome. We often have limited visio0n, don’t we? Seeing things as they appear to be, but not actually as they are. It’s hard to peel that onion sometimes. 🙂

  8. LOL, that moment from Jurassic Park was gold! Someone made the Jurassic Park, high heels edition. It’s not everyone’s sense of humor, but I just can’t stop smiling at it!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RZi6NCuLbQ

    Sorry you lost a friend… I know it’s a win too, to not have that toxic energy, but I kinda do feel sorry for the person…

    Well, I have one major instance that repeats itself. In South Africa, we have had a record year of outtages – and no, I don’t mean going out, LOL. It has been already a record year of power outtages and loadshedding. We used to live on a plot where the power seemed to be more off than on and as much as it sucked and prevented me from doing one thing, I determined NOT to waste that time on what could’ve been and I started working on setting things up so I could continue working when the power was off – setting tasks aside I can do, especially during the day. Especially coloring, layout, shot design, development of tools, storyboarding, etc. There was lots I could do on paper at the time. Also going for regular walks.

    Yesterday was no exception, when cable theft left us in the dark for a little more than a day. A while back, I got a few ideas for shows I’d love to produce. A few days ago, I got flooded with ideas for it and it was so cool, but I had no time to just sit and write it all down. Yesterday I had nothing but time, so I wrote down everything I got so far and while I was writing, more ideas came. Finished it all 4mins before cooking time. Major win, 10 pages later!!

    There’s a book called The Greatest Salesman in the World. My brother loaned me his 1 and 2. And one of the vows at the end of the second book is to find the opportunity in opposition (don’t recall the exact wording, but it comes down to that). I really aim to do that!

    You do it well too!

    1. Thank you Marius! Man that would drive me crazy! I am the WORST at untethering. I can barely go camping without having a synapse misfire. When I see my bars shrinking down to zero, I start to lose hope for survival. I don’t know how you do it. I hope those outages get…outaged! And good for you on realigning your workload to make the most of those times where you were deprived of the necessary stuffs to facilitate said workload! Now I’m off to check out that Jurassic Park high heels edition…

  9. When listing all the things you can do when the work isn’t coming in, you forgot to mention eat more Ho Ho’s!

  10. Love your stuff, Josh. When I first started chasing the VO business I came across your blog and your saying that “…it will change the world.” I thought that it was perhaps a bit – no, a LOT over the top. But you got me reading it.

    I’ve been around a long time. Had several careers. Lost a brother, wife of 30 years, and a 30-year-old daughter in the span of 28 months. Got a second chance at love with a woman to whom I’ve now been married 10 years. Have a great career as an air show announcer and a very nicely growing (audiobook) VO business.

    Your post today (I think I should call it a devotion) is the best I’ve read/heard in years. GREAT dose of perspective.

    I’m so glad that I stayed with your blog since I started following it 2 years ago!

  11. Haha, so glad you loved it too! haha! So good! I totally forgot about the new movie coming out! Wasn’t even sure if people were serious! Camp Cretaceous is great, if you haven’t checked that out yet. Can’t wait for season 5!! EEECK!!!

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a major major inconvenience, because it keeps me from doing paid work I can only do in the computer, but I know that tantrums don’t make the lights work, hahaha. Just had to kinda let it go and learn to work around it. I think we’ll be one of few countries where the people generate their own power for the most part, hehe.

  12. Thanks for another encouraging bout of edutainment, Mr. Alexander! It’s been fun and interesting to see how our blog topics have been, if not related, semi-adjacent lately. I promise I’m not peeking at your content calendar!

    One of my most meaningful losses that was actually a win was from last November when I traveled back to the US for my sister’s wedding. I was really bummed that I didn’t have enough time to visit all of the friends that I wanted to, but it ended up being an unbelievable blessing because I ended up spending the extra time I did have with my grandmother—one of my favorite individuals and one of Earth’s best—who shortly thereafter passed away from her second battle with cancer. Little did I know, those moments and memories were to be my last with her in this life, and I cherish them more than words can say.

    The importance of mindset has been on my mind lately (again, just look at my recent blog post), so I appreciate another reminder of how impactful it is to our day-to-day success!

    On an unrelated note, we need to have you try my wife’s authentic Mexican cooking sometime. Then maybe we can discuss whether Taco Bell shutting down would be ENTIRELY negative or not…

    1. I have a funny feeling that shuttering Taco Bell (in Spanish: El Shuttero Taco Bello) in this light would be entirely favorable! My birthday is coming up, and for that, my dad is coming down this Friday to make his customary birthday Mexican dinner and EYE. CAN. NOT. WEIGHT. He makes tacos, burritos, enchiladas, tamales, chimichangas….oh man my mouth is watering just thinking about. So bring on your wife’s authentic Mexican cooking! And thanks for taking the time to comment. Mindfulness is super important. It’s what my next blog will be about as well. They’re all ones to grow on. I’m glad you got to see your grandma before she passed – that must have been all the more precious in hindsight! Now stop peeking at my content calendar, I’m changing my password post-haste! El Passwordo Chango!

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