Switching Voiceover Websites?
Just watch me propagate!
The only constant is change
They say “the only constant is change.” I used to feel differently, but now I agree. I think you see what I did there.
Change is persistent in my life:
- My first-born is suddenly 5 years old.
- My second-born is now 2 years old.
- I used to be unmarried; now I am required to watch movies where the main protagonist must go through some kind of emotional maturity challenge, which I am about as interested in seeing as a proctologist
- I used to not be a parent; now I can no longer poop in privacy. Parents everywhere, can I get a witness.
- I promise this blog is not only about butts.
Change: it is the only constant.
Change has resonated throughout my life. Throughout my 48 years, I have changed several things, my underwear notwithstanding. To illustrate my point, nowadays I even use the word "notwithstanding." Here are some more examples:
- I have had 20+ different jobs, some of which ended through someone else deciding that I no longer get to work there, and the judge agreeing with them.
- I have changed fashions, which is to say that some days I wear clothes while shopping, and other days I do not.
- Some days I wake up and I swoop my hair to the right. Other days I swoop it to the left. And I fear the day will come where I will have no hair left to swoop. This is also when I will start wearing cats on my head and insist that people call me "Admiral."
- I used to do wedding videography. I have completed post-wedding-videographer therapy, and now I only do voiceovers.
- I used to be thin. Now I am fat. Wait - I was never thin; scratch that. I used to be kind of thin, now I am not kind of thin. Like, at all. On that note, you should really be free to eat whatever you want. And if anyone criticizes you for it, eat them.
- Oh! I used to detest mushrooms. Not everything changes, notwithstanding.
In terms of website ownership and branding, my locations have changed, as I seek to stay relevant. Relevance is hard in this day and age, because I am getting older. For example, I do not know ANY of these new rappers on the radio. Da Baby, Lil Baby, Baby Shark....they are all the same to me.
For voiceovers, I had used my previous website domain for a few years, but I was desiring something a bit more "on-brand." I first wanted supervoiceovers.com, because I had been receiving emails from a domain squatter who wanted me to offer my highest bid for it. Domain squatting is actually illegal, and despite all my best efforts to acquire my preferred domain, my efforts have proved fruitless. So I have resorted to praying revenge prayers over them that involve a music playlist with only Rico Suave on a punishing loop.
Here is my voiceover domain trail as it currently squats, er, sits:
- I started with voicetalentseattle.com
- Then I moved to seattlevoiceoverartist.com
- Next I switched to seattlevoiceactor.com
- I finally took off from there and landed here at asupervoice.com
- Soon I will be at seattlevoiceoverartistinseattlewithasupervoicethatsaysthingsbecauseheissuper.com. I have researched this domain name with GoDaddy, and after causing a worldwide Internet outage from exceeding the 64-character limitation, full GoDaddy power was restored, and the domain appears to be available. I am admittedly incredulous that no one has snatched up such a high ticket domain that will fit nicely on business cards.
- With great relish, I am looking forward to my new email address of firstname.lastname@example.org. I do not expect much email traffic.
Sometimes, however, change comes at a cost. Stay with me as I share about this cost, not because you want to, but because you are listening to Da Baby Shark and that sick hook is coming up.
DNS…esa niña…Who’s That Girl?
One should never switch domain names unless one finds it absolutely critical to switch one’s domain names to preserve one’s branding. Otherwise, one finds oneself in a cleft stick of one’s own cutting, as one can inadvertently find oneself in DNS purgatory.
"What is DNS?" you ask. (I am going to go ahead and presume you asked). DNS, I believe, stands for Does Not SitWellWithMeBecauseIShouldNotHaveToCareWhatDNSActuallyIs. *someone shouts from the wings* I have just been informed that that is incorrect. DNS actually stands for Domain Name Server. To be clear, I am not talking about waiters carrying out delicious URL’s on trays for you to eat.
"What is a URL?" you ask. (I am going to go ahead and presume you asked). URL, I believe, stands for Undulating Rappacious Lunacy. *more shouting from the wings* I have just been informed that that too is incorrect. URL actually stands for Uniform Resource Locator. I am not talking about an app that helps you find costumes for purchase, although I am positive that you can find one that will help you undulate.
Putting it simply, a URL is the website address that you type into your browser which points to an IP (Internet Protocol) address, which is a series of digits and decimal points that when assembled in the right order can summon Gozer the Gozerian to inhabit Sigourney Weaver. *even more shouting from the wings* I have just been informed that they are apparently supposed to point to where your website is. All around the world, there are Domain Name Servers that need to “propagate” all over the internet (I understand this to mean that they put on Kenny G and get busy) with your new website information since there has been a recent update. For me, I switched my URL from seattlevoiceactor.com to asupervoice.com, because apparently, I need the word ‘super’ in everything Joshua Alexander-related, or I will most likely detonate, which is not the same as propagate, which is not the same as ukulele.
I believe fifty people just unsubscribed.
Let us look at it another way. Because I changed my URL, the DNS’s of the world needed to hold a MEETING. This is a VERY IMPORTANT EVENT whereby all the Domain Name Servers decide when and how to update everyone else as to my website's location, so that any and all traffic meant for me actually gets to me. I believe what happens is that they decide from the outset of their MEETING to tell me that, as is standard, DNS propagation can take up to 72 hours. By this they mean that my website should once again be working in the year of our Lord 2785, or after frozen zombie meat has come to life and ravaged the planet of all humans, whichever comes first.
But for now, in their MEETING they graciously decide to bounce all emails sent my way, especially all my important emails from Nigerian princes regarding inheritances that should have been rightfully mine. Consequently, I am not overly fond of MEETINGS, because all I can do is sit and watch mustard harden with no hope that my website will ever be restored.
In any event, whereas most people are just fine waiting up to three whole days for their new website and email to work, God equipped me with zero tolerance for delays. This is why I often leave for functions without my wife, who insists on staying upstairs putting makeup on until she is finally ready the following weekend.
I was subsequently reduced to a quivering wreck of email-withdrawal after a few hours of no e-mail access. To provide some form of cathartic therapy, I began to repeatedly double-click on the newmail.wav sound on my computer, envisioning Prince Nikwembe Dutombu celebrating our good fortunes together so I could stop shaking from withdrawal tremors. Coffee and a cold shower helped.
Being a voiceover artist with a business, yet having no website or email is a bit like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole while being stung by bees, pecked by ravens and repeatedly whacked in the head with an oar while acid thrash music is blaring on a loop from a stereo with no "Off" button.
What’s In A Domain Name?
Used by permission from doki7 via Pixabay
For voice talent, the message is clear. Weigh heavily the pro's and con's of switching domain names so late in the game. (Sidebar: there are no pro's.) Better yet, decide at the very beginning - before you are born is what I mean - what your voiceover domain name will be. Make sure to talk to Celia Siegel about branding. This way you will avoid confusion, and you will hit the ground running and not ever be attacked by frozen zombie meat. I have not met anyone who likes being attacked by frozen zombie meat, and it is one of the first questions I ask in relationships.
In retrospect, looking back (which means "in retrospect"), I wish The Internet People had properly informed me of all of this when I had my mouse over the “Are you sure you would like to switch your domain name?” button. Once my email was finally restored, I promptly emailed The Internet People asking them to relabel this button to say, “Before you switch your domain name and endure innumerable heartache through email deprivation and bounced traffic, are you sure you want to be attacked by frozen zombie meat?”
I am told I can expect a reply in up to 72 hours. In the meanwhile, did you enjoy this blog? Good! Then I would love to hear from you. You can reach me at gollygeethatwasthebestblogeverormynameisn’tGozerTheGozerian@whatintarnationdoesdnsstandforanywayandcanyoupleasestopplayingRicoSuaveI'mbeingpeckedbyravens!.com.
*repeated and unending shouting from the wings*
Or just try email@example.com for now, notwithstanding.
YOU HAVE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE END, AND I SALUTE YOU.
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Seattle Voice Actor & Voiceover Artist for hire