Hey! It’s a WAY OK PSA Foray Essay Day! YAY!

(aka One Man's Journey Into Voiceovers)

A Long Time Ago, in, well, a city right next door

It was 1993.  I was all of 20 years old.  I was thin.

I am no longer thin.

But bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I was ready take on the world.

To tackle the world.

To annoy the world.

I was a telemarketer.  Stop judging me.  It’s an illustrious career that bears esteem akin to that of Presidents, as long as we're talking about Presidents of Garbage Piles.  Presidents of Sewer Systems.  Presidents of High-Interest Credit Card Bills.  Presidents of Flatulence.  Presidents of Large Piles of Excrement That No One Wants.  See?  Telemarketers share the same esteem and are highly regarded in the same light.  I can hear you laughing at me.  Stop it.

As a telemarketer, I enjoyed the rich privilege of calling people up during dinner, and offering them something that I was prepared for them to like, and they were prepared to refuse.  I was selling Public Service Announcements, aka Community Service Announcements.  If memory serves, most conversations went something like this:

Them: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, is this Jack?”

Them: “Yes, who’s this?”

Me: “Hi, Jack!  This is Joshua Alexander on behalf of KPLZ Radio, how are you?”

Them: “Oh wow!  What did I win?”

Me: *chuckle* “Oh, you didn’t win anything, I was just -“

Them: Click.

Or…

Them: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, is this Jack?”

Them, tentatively: “Uh....”

Me: “Hi, Jack!  This is Joshua Alexander on behalf of KPLZ Radio, how are you?”

Them: “Look, stop calling me, I don’t want to buy anything.”  Click.

Me: “But –“

Them: Click. Click. Click.

Or…

Them: “Stop calling me!”

Me: “Hi, is this Jack?”

Them: “The police are on their way.”

Me: drops phone and runs.

It was a very enjoyable job. I got a lot of exercise by running from angry people, so I was making some good money (when they bought) as well as losing weight.

But on the rare occasion that I started out my phone calls offering them $20 if they would just-please-listen-for-one-cotton-pickin’-second-I-need-to-buy-food-and-heat, I managed to explain that I was calling on behalf of KPLZ radio and wanted to share with them a good cause.  I would go on to explain - after providing them my credit card number for their shopping pleasure - that we here at the Good PSA Company were all working on:

1. Trying to keep kids off of drugs
2. Equipping parents with a kid-code to prevent abduction
3. Encouraging youth sports and activities
4. Developing a Care Fund to collectively raise money in an effort to reimburse me several $20 payments I made to prospective telemarketing clients so they would listen for one cotton pickin' second

Clients were, for the most part, welcoming of the first three.  I would press play on my tape bed that was piped into the phone, and begin to recite, with eloquence that would rival The Sermon on the Mount, some pre-written PSA dripping with sentiment that not even Sally Struthers could one-up me on.  I would insert their name as the sponsor, i.e., “Good sound advice brought to you by Jack’s Plumbing.”  The only thing better would have been playing “In the Arms of the Angel” in the background, as they would then be defenseless against my powers.

The call would then continue:

Me: *stops tape bed* “Well, Jack, I never said I was Dan Rather.” *obligatory syrupy self-effacing chuckle.*

Them:

Me: “Hello?”

At any rate, one time I dutifully read my voiceover script, chuckled off my Dan Rather line, and the client actually bought!  I am not trying to be self-effacing here…many clients actually bought several times, and on one occasion I was esteemed the honor of Sales Rep of the Month, and another, the Sales Rookie of the Year.  It was a superb experience.  If people would just stop hanging up on me.

But some actually didn't hang up on me.  In fact, they said, "We like it!  We'll buy, but only if you read it on the air."  I was unprepared for this.  I stammered, leaned back, searched for a manager and said, in my most professional posture, "Uh, they, uh, they want me to read it - they'll buy it if I read it - can I read it? Hello?"  If memory serves, the managers would hang up on me as well.

But - long story short - I got permission to read it in the studio.  So when the time came to record it, I left my humble telemarketing desk, proceeded into the studio, slapped the headphones onto my ears, and entered a whole new world.  I fell in love.  Not the kind of love you experience when you open up and see the innards of a Taco Bell burrito…no.  No, this was much more powerful.  I’m talking about the rush you experience when you finally know what love is, just like Foreigner sang about.  I truly hope Foreigner eventually found out, because they kept saying it and saying it, and the radio still plays it.  I wish them well on their perpetual journey of discovery.

As for me, I had found what I was destined to do.  Voiceovers.

Do What They Say, Say What you Mean...One Thing Leads to Another

"Amway" by dok1 is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Now, life takes you in different directions, so even though I swore that I found my life’s calling in voiceovers, don’t get all Judgy Judgerson that I joined Amway.

I told you to stop laughing at me.

You would have joined too!  It was either that or pole-dancing, and I am told that in addition to having no mad dancing skills, I also had no mad pole-dancing acumen.  I am not even sure if pole-dancing acumen is a thing.  If it is , I do not have it.

So I went to Amway.  And then I went to jingles.  And then I went back to voiceovers.  And then I went to:

• Paper routes, since apparently when I was 22, I was still 9.
• Dairy Queen, because, well, #blizzards
• More telemarketing, because I do not learn quickly and subconsciously enjoy being hung up on.
• Singing, touring and performing concerts: not because I was any kind of stellar singer, but because I had by now perfected the art of being rejected and wished to take it on the road to see how much I could endure.
• Even more telemarketing, because I delight in a tumultuously slow death.
• Voiceovers and jingles, and singing now in the shower now.
• Combining singing with jingles and calling them singles
• Customer service, because it’s the closest thing to telemarketing. You have telemarketing on one side, customer service in the middle, and Beelzebub and the Fiery Inferno of Hades on the other. People scream in each of those categories, but for different reasons.  The first want you to stop calling; the second scream because they want you to turn up the heat on getting things done; the third want you to turn the heat back down.  Much screaming.
• Starting my own business in 2003 – AHA! Redemption.  And it only took me 3,650 days.

So there I landed in 2003, starting what would eventually become a thriving multimedia production company and seeing it flourish to the point of being able to move past Top Ramen for dinner, graduating to the more expensive imitation crab meat slathered in margarine.  I already told you I was no longer thin.  Please pay attention.

By mid-2007, almost 14 years ago now, I had gone full-time into self-employment and was incredibly successful.  In fact, I never looked back, except to see if I had toilet paper still clinging to me: a necessary maintenance check given that I was so incredulous at my success that I was, ahem, exploding with joy.  Bless the Lord for visual imagery.

I was content, satisfied, overjoyed, and vowed never to be hung up on by Jack ever again.

What’s your story?

"So... what's your story? Women's T-Shirt" by danielboard is licensed under CC BY 2.0

We all have our own unique stories for what led us to voiceovers.  Some of us came from DJ’ing.  Some from podcasting.  Some from singing.  And some of us - I’m talking about the elite and highly favored by God - from a telemarketing background.  We Former Telemarketers have a thick skin and meaty hides.  We can take a lot, because we've taken a lot.

Wherever you personally came from, you have unique skills and talents for being successful at voiceovers.  Those talents may include:

• Business acumen
• Being naturally gifted at storytelling
• The gift of Encouragement
• Technical aptitude
• Industry knowledge
• Pinching your nose shut and blowing so that air comes out of your left tear duct
• Pole-dancing

Whatever your talent, whatever your journey, you have a lot to bring to voiceovers.  My challenge is to take time and figure out your gifting from previous careers or pursuits that you can then apply to a career in voiceovers.  It isn't just about using your voice, after all.  Having a "cool voice" does not a good voiceover artist make.  And you don't learn it all in one day.

There are many people who should not be doing voiceovers.  They know just enough to make them dangerous, and they spew out the first bad advice that pops into their head and call it "good."  I can name a few serial purveyors of bad advice. Don't get me started.  *end of rant*  Whatever your REAL gifting that doesn't involve HURTING THE INDUSTRY, DRIVING DOWN RATES AND SPEWING OUT BAD ADVICE, use it!!!  *end of second rant*

For me, I brought to my voiceover career:

• business acumen
• discernment
• extreme organization, a la neat freak syndrome
• extensive marketing experience NOT of the "tele-" kind.
• networking
• advertising
• planning
• goal tracking
• unflappable determination
• experience with multiple roles (which helped me to wear different hats in my business, and also to perfect my schizophrenia)
• accounting
• software experience
• marketing savvy
• teaching & mentor skills
• and so much more, that I once even wrote a blog about it.

As my wife is famous for saying, “Everything in the past has led to now, and I’m in love with now.”  I couldn’t say it better, so I won’t even try.  Talk to her.

I’m in love with now.

As an update...I'm still annoying the world, I just don't do it over the phone anymore.

End of essay on my foray into the heyday of PSA!  Let's call it a day.  I pray I may parlay an "A"?

So...what’s your story?  Even if it's pole-dancing, let's hear it.

=============

NOTE: This blog is purely for commentary / educational / entertainment purposes.  I make no money from these blogs; though I do not refuse large cash gifts if it means I can pretend I'm a church.

Check out my whole UNIVERSE of blogs right HERE!

AND HEY!  WAIT JUST A S.E.C.!

• S-UBSCRIBE & S-HARE!: If you enjoyed this blog, please consider subscribing and sharing with friends and family, and encouraging them to subscribe and share.  Offer treats for doing so.
• E-NCOURAGE: Go encourage someone else today with a single, simple sentence of affirmation.  Tell them, “I like your earrings”, unless of course they are manly men, in which case you should compliment them on the size of their chainsaw.
• C-OMMENT: I want to hear from you.  Please feel free to comment below!  Comments with lots of “You’re wonderful” or “You’re the best” will receive instant approval and acclaim.

Check out my latest and greatest Voiceover book - you'll be glad you did!

Want some incredible online voiceover video training?  Check out "The Super Voiceover Business Video Package" for over 2 hours and 12 modules of instruction and motivation to run an effective voiceover business!

Need a voiceover?  Request a quote today or visit my Demo Reel. Or subscribe.  Or other things.

Joshua Alexander
Seattle Voice Actor & Voiceover Talent for hire
me@saysomethingjosh.com
206.557.6690
www.saysomethingjosh.com
www.joshyface.com
www.joshygram.com
www.joshypin.com
www.joshylinked.com
www.joshytweet.com
www.joshyvids.com